It’s Bisexual Awareness Week, a time dedicated to celebrating and acknowledging the bisexual community. As someone who has identified as bisexual for most of my life, this week holds a special place in my heart. But lately, I’ve found myself rethinking my relationship with this label.

I came out as bisexual when I was 17 years old, back in 2005. For years, identifying as bisexual has provided me with a sense of comfort and community. Meeting other bisexual people often brings a feeling of kinship and camaraderie, which is one of the main reasons many of us embrace labels for our sexuality. They help us connect with others who share similar experiences and feelings.

I especially appreciated when the definition of bisexuality expanded to include “attraction to your gender and other genders.” That was a brilliant move in terms of bisexual visibility and inclusivity. It resonated with me deeply, and for a long time, it felt like the perfect description of who I am.

However, in recent times, that label hasn’t been fitting as well as it used to.

As a nonbinary person, I’ve come to realize that many of the popular sexuality labels don’t quite capture my experience. Pansexuality might come close, but even that doesn’t feel entirely right. My recent journey through the world of dating has led me to reflect a lot on my desires and how I want to be approached in relationships.

In 2024, “bisexual” hasn’t been working for me on dating apps. When people see my face and read the label, they often assume it means I’m straight for men and gay for women. This assumption misses the mark entirely.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I know that bisexual people are just bi, all the time. But we live in a society that often forces us to navigate its misunderstandings and biases.

The truth is, I’m actually gay for men, gay for transmasculine nonbinary people, and gay for butch women. I’m attracted to masculinity, regardless of the gender of the person expressing it.

So, I’m currently running a little experiment on Hinge where I state that I’m looking for men but label my sexuality as gay instead of bisexual. Will it change anything? I’m not sure. The reading comprehension rate on Hinge isn’t exactly stellar, but I’m hopeful!

Even as I explore this new label, I still hold onto my bisexual identity in my heart. I’m both bi and gay, and that’s okay.

This is just me being vulnerable and sharing where I’m at right now. I’d love to hear about your own experiences with labels and identity. Let’s embrace the messiness of it all, and I hope this helps anyone else who might be feeling similarly.